


Most Desperate Desire

by HunterMay18



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Blind Character, Blind Niall, Deaf Harry, Desire, Fluff, M/M, Palilalia, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-20
Updated: 2014-08-27
Packaged: 2017-12-24 02:37:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,530
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/934242
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HunterMay18/pseuds/HunterMay18
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Niall has lived his whole life in the dark.</p><p>He's never seen the beauties that the world has to offer, the only thing is the darkness.</p><p>Being born blind he never experienced things like everyone else.</p><p>But, every year he wished for one thing, and one thing only, to finally be able to see the love of his life: Zayn.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Part I

_“My world is surrendered by darkness…the only spot of light in it is you.”_

**_Author POV_ **

Darkness.

No light, just dark.

The only color is black.

Not being able to see anything.

Not being able to enjoy the surroundings.

No colors, just the black dept of nothingness.

Nothingness becomes their own way of living.

Sometimes they have that one wish, to see everything the earth has to offer.

Well, this is exactly how the life of Niall Horan was.

And his one and only wish is to be able to see the love of his life, Zayn Malik.

Will his wish ever be fulfilled, or will he be in forever darkness?

 

**_Niall POV_ **

Have you ever wanted something so bad that it killed you? That every day you wish that one thing could happen, but it never does?

That’s how I feel and it hurts.

Anyways, my name is Niall Horan and I’ve been blind since birth. It’s not as bad as you think, since darkness if the only thing that I’ve known, you get used to it. Well, even though you always wish that one day you could wake up and would be able to see, but sadly that would never happen to me.

I just want to be able to see all the wonders of the world, is that so much to ask for? All I see is, well nothing, abso-fucking-lutely nothing. Sometimes it really doesn’t bother me, but other times I just want to be able to witness things that ‘normal’ people are able to.

I groan and rub my hands over my face, this used to be so much easier when I was younger and didn’t understand many things. But, now it’s where I understand that people can actually see in color, while I’m here with nothing. Why do I have to be different? Why can’t I see? What did I ever do to deserve this?

I did nothing, I was only a baby. Why did it have to happen to me? All I want to do is see the man I love, is that so hard?

I flopped back on my bed and I put my hands over my face. I just wish that I could see. I just wish that I was a normal boy.

_“Mummy?”_

_“Yes sweetie?”_

_“Why can’t I see? Why can other people see?”_

_“Well, the thing is the reason why you can’t see is because God wanted you to only see the person you fall in love with. And when you’re ready that person will be the only one you see.”_

_“Really?”_

_“Yes, now go back to learning Braille.”_

I was just about 5 and my mum had me believe that for the next few years. When I found out, I came home crying because the kids at school were making fun of me. They called me many different names that I don’t ever want to repeat because it just made that year at that school a living hell. The bullying got extremely worse and the principal was defending the other children when I was ‘accidentally’ pushed down the stairs and broke my ankle. I was transferred to a different school where I instantly made friends with another outcast, named Louis.

Louis was different than others, and they never understood him. He had a condition known as Palilalia, where he repeated every sentence twice without any control. He was an instant target for the bullies and so was I so we became friends instantly. He uses sign language around everyone else because he doesn’t like it when he repeats himself, but around me he speaks since I won’t be able to see him.

“Niall! Lou’s here, with some curly haired boy I’ve never met!” I just rolled my eyes before getting off of my bed to grab my walking stick to maneuver myself to get into the kitchen. I knew that the curly haired boy was Lou’s boyfriend, Harry. Harry was just like us, but he was deaf, which made things very difficult with contacting with him. But, we make do with what we have.

I reached the kitchen, “Niall, are you ready to go?” and I waited until Lou’s repeated his sentence before I would reply.

“Yeah, I really want to see Zayn and I know that he would be surprised if we showed up without him knowing.”

“True, but I’m not being mean or anything, how would you see the paintings?” Louis spoke up, and thus the repitition was over. I know what you’re thinking, I am probably making Louis feel bad about waiting, but he told me this even before we started to get closer.

“It’s not a problem, but I can always feel the texture of the paintings. And Zayn always tells me what he sees in his mind and the reasoning behind the whole painting. Then I can sort of picture something even though I don’t even know what to see.”

“Okay, well come on!” Louis shouted, only to mumble that once more. He grabs my arm and all three of us were out the door on our way to the art gallery.

After about 15 minutes in the car, we pulled to a stop and I was escorted to Zayn. We were left alone and I couldn’t be happier.

His hand grabbed mine and he dragged it across the large canvas. He hands were soft and the warmth from them made me weak in the knees. I wonder if he knows what effect he has on me.

“The painting is of one of the best things that could happen in my life.”

“What?”

“You, it was the day that we were at the lake and I asked you to take off your sunglasses. I wanted to see what you had under those shades and I was memorized by how bright blue your eyes were even though that you were blind. I had taken out my sketch book and I started to draw you as you were lying on the chair with the mountains in the background. I emphasized your eyes because it’s where I wanted the people to be drawn into.

“Zayn, I don’t know what to say.”

“You don’t have to say anything; I did it because I wanted to.”

I know that my face is extremely flustered and I can’t even look away because I wouldn’t want to be rude and not look at Zayn. I really can’t believe that he painted me of all people; I must mean something to him.

The rest of the night went by slowly as Zayn would bring me to every one of the paintings and explain it to me. I really loved the way that Zayn acted around me and I never questioned why I loved him so much.

It was just about time to go when Zayn sat me down, “Niall, I have to tell you something and please don’t get upset.”

“I won’t get mad, go ahead.”

“I have to move…to America.”

Even though I couldn’t see his expression, I could feel mine. It was beyond shock, I didn’t want him to leave, and I haven’t even gotten the chance to tell him how I feel.

“What? Why?”

“My parent’s think it’s a better place for my artistic skills could become famous. I don’t want to leave; I would miss you too much.”

“But, come on Zayn couldn’t you tell them that you’re perfectly fine here!”

“I tried so many times and they wouldn’t listen.”

“When do you leave?”

“In 6 months.”

“Then it gives me time to do this,” I had felt his breath on my face and I grabbed it. I crashed my lips to his and he stiffened but soon started to move his lips against mine. He broke the kiss and pressed his forehead against mine.

“Let’s make the next 6 months the best time of our lives.”

And I know for a fact that I will be able to actually see him before he leaves, if it’s the last thing that I do.


	2. Part 2.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sorry if this seems rushed, will go back and add more later.

 

 

It’s been three months, three months since Niall kissed Zayn. Three months of dating, and pure happiness, but no brightness. Don’t get me wrong, having Zayn is the light in his eyes, but he still can’t see him.

Niall sighed once more as Zayn was painting away on his canvas, “I really wish that I could be able to see what you’ve created.”

Zayn turned to see Niall’s head down and he stopped painting to go over to him. Zayn sat in front of Niall and sighed, “Love, you know the doctors even said that it would be a miracle.”

Niall sniffled, “I know, but you don’t know how it feels, how to always see nothing, to always wonder how you look everyday or whether you have a bad hairday or something on you that shouldn’t,” Niall took in a breath, “I know that you may not care about those things, but I do. One day I just want be able to see the world, see me and most importantly see you.”

Zayn had a few tears trickle down his face, “I know Niall, but a miracle, and you are my miracle.” Zayn smiled when Niall’s face blushed to an even darker red. Zayn got that mental image and stood up from the stool and went to paint Niall as he was right at that moment.

Zayn went to work, he was happy that he only had half of Niall’s head painted, so there wouldn’t be much that he had to change. He stroked the brush over the canvas and smiled proudly as his creation was coming to life. Zayn turned over to Niall and he noticed that he was now curled into a ball on the chair with his chin on his knees.

“Niall, how about I finish out the base color for this and we can go to the new restaurant you wanted to try out?”

Niall lifted his head and smiled weakly, “Okay.”

Zayn sighed and quickly finished the base coat, making a mental note of what he needed to do to make it complete. He closed his paints and washed his brushes before putting a cover over his canvas.

“Ready to go?” Niall looked up from where Zayn’s voice was heard and nods. He reaches out for Zayn’s arm and slowly gets off the chair. Zayn leans over and Niall can feel his breath over his lips so, he leans over the rest of the way and kiss Zayn softly.

“I like kissing you,” Niall mumbled.

Zayn chuckled, “I like kissing you too.”

 

 

**

 

 

“I’m sorry Niall, but all the doctors said that it’s too risky,” Niall’s mum sighed loudly, trying to get through to her son.

“But, can’t we still look? We could find someone who will want to do it.”

“That’s not the point, they said if it fails, you could literally lose your eyes.”

“If that’s the only risk, can’t we take it?”

Niall’s mum was getting frustrated, “Niall, sweetie,” She walked over to him and took his head into her hands, “It’s not that easy, I don’t want you to lose those blue eyes you have.”

“Mum, I want to be able to see, to view the world! Please!”

“Baby, I know that’s what you want to do, but I don’t want you to get your hopes up. I don’t want you go through with the surgery and it not work.”

“Why not take that risk though? Please mum, please,” Niall pleaded with her, tears falling from his eyes.

His mum sighed, “Let me talk to your father and see what he says, but there are no promises.”

Niall smiled, “Thank you mummy.” Niall’s mum chuckled and kissed his forehead before leaving to find his father.

 

 

**

 

 

I was a month since Niall spoke with his mother and his father had agreed to get him the surgery for him to get his eyesight back, his surgery was tomorrow and he was getting really excited and nervous.

“Zayn, what if it doesn’t work? What if I can never see you?” Niall was crying again in Zayn’s arms and all Zayn could do was console him, he didn’t know what to say at this point without Niall getting even more upset.

“It’s the risk that you have to take, right?” Zayn whispered, “But, If it doesn’t work, I won’t love you less, you’ll still be my inspiration.” Niall blushed and turned his head trying to kiss Zayn on his lips, but ends up kissing his chin. Zayn chuckled before moving Niall’s head to capture his lips in a soft kiss.

They stood like that for the rest of the night until they bid their goodbyes, since they wouldn’t be seeing each other until the day Niall gets his bandages off.

“Call me when you get released, okay?” Zayn asked as he thumbed away a stray tear.

“I will, don’t worry.”

 

 

**

 

 

“Alright, so the surgery went very well, better than we had expected actually. But, there still may not be the outcome that Niall wants, just take it day by day.”

Niall’s parents nodded as they looked over at a sleeping Niall with bandages wrapped around his eyes, “Thank you doctor.”

“You’re welcome, and he should be awake in the next hour or so, but he will be in pain, so when he wakes just press the button for the nurse.”

“Okay, thank you again.”

The doctor smiled and left the room, leaving them to collect their thoughts.

It wouldn’t be for another hour until Niall would wake up, “Mummy?”

Niall’s mum was quick to get to his side, “Yes baby?”

“My head hurts, really bad.” Niall’s mum pressed the call button and a nurse came in along with his medicine.

“Alright Niall, this should start to kick in within a few minutes, just let me know if the pain gets worse within the next couple hours.”

“Okay,” Niall replied back, not sure where to look since her voice was soft and quiet. “Mum, how’d the surgery go?”  
“The doctor said that it went better than they expected, but that you shouldn’t get your hopes up because you still have a slight possibility of it not working.”

Niall nodded and that was the end of the conversation.

 

 

**

 

 

“Zayn, I’m getting my bandages off tomorrow, will you come with me? I want you to be the first person I see.”

“Of course baby, I wouldn’t miss it for the world.” Zayn had stopped his painting to look at Niall, he still had the bandages over his eyes, but there was nothing wrapped around his head like when he first came out of the hospital. They weren’t supposed to see each other until tomorrow, but Zayn needed his inspiration for his most recent painting.

“I really hoped it work,” Niall muttered quietly.

“I hope so too, but if it didn’t, I’ll still be here right by your side.”

“How? You’re leaving going to leave me soon.”

Zayn sighed, “Yes, I may leave you, but there’s always the idea of coming with me.”

Niall hadn’t thought of it and he smiled, “You’d let me tag along with you?”

“Yes, like I said, I’ll be right here by your side no matter what.”

Niall felt around for Zayn’s lips, pulled his face to his and kissed him softly.

 

 

**

 

 

“Ready?” The doctor asked as he was ready to pull off the bandages, the room was dimly lit, the doctor didn’t want to blind him with the bright light.

Niall nodded and squeezed Zayn’s hand as the doctor pulled them gently off. Niall clenched his eyes shut, he didn’t want to open his eyes, he didn’t want to get disappointed if it didn’t work.

“Come on baby, open your eyes,” Zayn spoke soothingly, hoping to ease his nerves.

Niall opened his eyes and blinked rapidly, “Why is everything so blurry? I can’t even make out anything, it’s all meshed together.”

The doctor smiled, “Well, you actually may need really strong glasses, it seems like the surgery worked, but let me take you into the room where I can fit you for a prescription.”

Zayn hadn’t let go of Niall’s hand as they follow the doctor into another room down the hall. The doctor pulls the huge device in front of Niall and he aligns his eyes with the holes. He presses on a few things before asking, “Let me know when you can see clearer.”

“Okay,” Niall spoke, not wanting to nod or it could mess it up. The doctor went through ten different combinations when Niall finally spoke up, “I can see, I can see!”

The doctor smiled and motioned for Zayn to come over to where he was, “Niall, I want you to officially meet, your boyfriend, Zayn.” Niall couldn’t really move in the space but he smiled really wide and a few tears trickled out the corner of his eye.

“Well, damn, I knew you were hot, but,” Niall cut himself off with a whistle, making Zayn blush madly.

“Alright, Niall, I’m going to get your prescription in and then within an hour, you can pick out your frames.” The doctor pulled the device away from Niall and left the room quickly.

“I saw you, I really saw you,” Niall spoke thickly, the tears were now falling down his face.

“I know, and I’m happy that you can see.” Zayn leaned down and kissed him softly.

They ended up having to wait in the waiting room until Niall was able to pick out glasses, he picked a pair of thick framed black glasses and he was really happy about them. The doctor put in his lenses and handed them over to Niall who happily put them on.

He turns over to Zayn and he even falls harder, “Is it possible to fall in love with you all over again?” Niall spoke all of a sudden, not realizing that it had slipped out. Zayn blushed so much, it reached the tip of his ears, and then he winked towards Niall, making him blush also.

The doctor cooed at them quietly, “Alright, so the glasses were covered by the money that your parents had gave me in the beginning, so here is your case and a glass cleaner. The headaches will be normal as your eyes adjust to being able to work better.”

Niall grabbed the stuff and smiled, “Thank you, thank you again doctor.” He got up and the doctor extended his hand, only for Niall to pull him into a giant hug.

“Call me if there are any unusual feelings or whatever, but I’m sure you’ll be fine.”

Niall nodded, “Will do, see you around.” The doctor waved goodbye to them and smiled proudly at a job well done.

Niall grabbed Zayn’s hand and squeezed it, “Let’s go show my parents.”

 

 

**

 

 

“Mummy! mummy!” Niall called out as soon as he entered the house.

His parents came running in and they started to tear up at the sight of their son with glasses on, “So? You can see?”

“Well, I wouldn’t be wearing these for nothing, now would I?”

His mum shook her head and pulled him in for a hug, and his father soon joined.

Zayn watched them quietly, not wanting to intrude, and waited for Niall so he could show him what he’s been wanting too since they’ve met.

“Alright, by the look that Zayn’s giving you, I think he wants to show you his creations,” Niall’s mum spoke, breaking the silence.

Niall removed himself from the hug and kissed his mum and dad’s cheeked before pulling Zayn back out to his car.

“Now take off your glasses and you can only put them on when we get there.”

Niall pouted, but took them off and set them into the tiny pocket in his shirt, “I can’t wait.”

When they reached their destination, Zayn led Niall to the room and turned on the light. He grabbed Niall’s glasses, “Now close your eyes,” Niall closed his eyes as Zayn slipped them on his face, “Open.”

Niall opened his eyes and gasped, everything in here was him. He turned to Zayn with watering eyes, “You only ever painted me?”

Zayn nodded as he led him over to a certain painting, “Go ahead and feel it and see if it reminds you of something.”

Niall pressed his fingers and he was shocked, “This is the painting that you showed in the show the night we got together.”

Zayn nodded, “It’s always been my favorite, I never knew why though, but, probably because of your breathtaking smile and how your eyes squinted knowing just how genuine that smile is. I love this look on you, you should wear it more often.”

Niall blushed, “Well, I’m honored to be your inspiration.”

“So, you’re most desperate desire, you finally got it, didn’t you?”

Niall turned and placed his hands on Zayn’s waist, “You bet I did.”

And if Zayn made love to Niall the first time that night, then it would be just between them and the soft spoken words of love that slipped out of their mouths.


End file.
